Damn the Wisdom!

“Damn the wisdom…” – I told to myself

It was a beautiful Thursday afternoon in the Golden Week of 2012, when everything seems to come to a standstill. Life seemed to be moving at a pace that I always wanted to, slow and steady. An innocuous looking toothache had caused us to visit the doctor as a precautionary measure. Few medicines and pain killers and we would be fine, I thought.

Wifey and me were seated in the oral surgeon’s cabin. He was a diminutive man in his mid forties I presume, with a lyrical South Indian accent, a grim face, and a penchant for looks of sheer perplexity. It was as though, with me seated in front of him, he realized for the first time that he really did have to rely on that dime-sized mirror to see what he was doing.

Dr. Subbu (lets call him that)was studying the X-ray report carefully. He then, turned to us, and started grimly –

DOC: Well, looks like, we need to extract your wisdom teeth..

ME: Its just a little tooth ache, is it that bad? Does it need a surgery? Can we not do with some medicines or something?

DOC: (Feeling my apparent discomfort at surgery) You must get it removed ! You see wisdom teeth is one the vestigial organs.. No use, and only creating trouble for you.. Come let me show you!

Wisdom1The Doc explained that the problem was with the lower right wisdom tooth that had grown horizontally and butted its stupid head against the back molar. Apparently, the wisdom tooth was healthy. The problem was a cavity that had formed between the two teeth – a dark space that bacteria and food particles found their cozy home in. Eventually, this would decay the innocent molar teeth, and cause more trouble for us.

Dr. Subbu pointed to the Xray that revealed the real culprit – the wisdom tooth that was lying on its side and trying to grow laterally. I couldn’t fathom why something with the word wisdom in its name seemed to have less intelligence than a mushroom, which is a fungus that grows from dead trees, yet manages to find its way out without troubling anyone else.

My inquisitive mind, of course, wanted me to demand some rational explanation for the impasse.  I wanted to make a point, but looking at his grim face, I decided against it. It didn’t seem like a good day for such a high-risk activity.

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Signs of fading eyesight? Or insanity? Or Old age?

I don’t think there is anything wrong with my eyesight. In fact, I think I have a highly trained eye – an eye that can easily spot the details and infer information from what I see at lightning speed. Yes – highly trained to ONLY things which are relevant and important to me! It is quite different from my wife. She seems to have this innate trait of “having eyes at the back of her head” – what else can explain scenarios like “The Roshogolla Rage“.

When I sit back and think – I wonder how (or why) my brain does not register these “seemingly obvious” things around me. If whatever I am looking at does not pertain to the immediate task I am involived in, or if its not relevant to an activity on MY interest – I just don’t see it!

Here’s an example of a conversation last weekend –

WIFE: We need to replace the bathroom tiles, its been so long, and the tiles have completely faded away.

ME: Hmm…

WIFE: Can you get them today? You know the place on BG road – just before it hits Hosur Road – there are lot of tile shops there…

ME: “Huh? Really..”

WIFE: What Huh… we go through that area almost every weekend. Right after the Dairy Circle crossing.

ME: I have no idea where your tile shop is… after Dairy Circle, we hit Hosur Road..

WIFE: Yes, yes.. We go to the Super Market right? Just next to it.

ME: I know we go to the SuperMarket. I don’t check out things around it…

WIFE: (extremely irritated) Ari… you have lived here for like “Ever since Adam was born”, and have been going to the Super Market since eternity. You telling me you never saw the tile shops next to it

ME: I never shopped for a tile in my life.

WIFE: (Shaked her head in disgust, and walks away)

Hmm.. Ari is still figuring out why his brain cells don’t register what seems to be “simple” things to wifey? Is this sign of insanity? Or Old age? Or both?

What do you think?

MD 20 : The Ubiquitous Question

“How do I look?” – asked my wife.

To all my male readers – how many times has your wife / GF asked you this question – “How do I look?” I think it is a close competitor to the other question –  “Do you love me?”. (Which usually metamorphoses into various forms – “Do you STILL love me?”, “Will you love me forever?” or the usually catastrophic “Do you love someone else now?”)

I can almost see my male readers nodding their heads, while the female readers go – “You men will never understand!”

Anyway, “How do I look” syndrome is found at varying levels among women. At its most acute form, the following symptoms are observed –

Conversations are interrupted as she turns to the mirror now and then and looks at herself, brushes her hair or checks out if she STILL “looks slim”!

Traveling from one room to another is usually interspaced with pit-stops in front of the mirrors as she checks herself out and re-fuels her ego!

Correcting course… And back to where I left it – So, we were going to a small get-together among a group of my office friends. A dinner at a restaurant at 8 PM, chit chat about life, and back home – simple…

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MD 19 : The Power Saver Mode

“How was your day today?” – wifey asked.
I had returned from a tough day’s work at office. We were having the evening tea together. This is the usual 30 min break for me before I open up the laptop again, and complete the remaining tasks for the day.

ME: Yeah, it was fine..


WIFE: Well, don’t you want to know how my day was? (feeling a bit disappointed with my one liner answer, and no follow up question)

ME: (I really don’t want to hear.. But let me be try to be a good hubby) Yeah… yeah.. How was your day, dear?

WIFE: Well… it was ok.. I mean.. There were some good, and some “not so good” moments, you know – the typical kind of day.

Dear readers – let me make another confession today. I suffer from “Selective Listening”. My wife makes it sound like a problem, but I really think of it as my ability – ability to “not clutter my brain with unnecessary information”. After all, I am already short changed with the amount of grey matter up there – so, need to expend it wisely.

Typical kind of day usually meant lot of details for next 15-20 minutes. I braced myself, as my brain switched to the “PowerSaver” mode – Selective Hearing controls ON.

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MD 18 : The Early Warning Signals

I am NOT a reckless driver. I am not a person who would jump lanes, rush past speeding trucks and buses, maneouver my way through the small space between two vehicles. Or completely miss a speed breaker, and almost have the car flying in air for few seconds. I also use the left and right indicators when I need to switch lanes or make a turn.

All the above statements are true.. hmm.. well mostly.

Let me put it this way – I am just a normal INDIAN driver who sometimes, yes, just sometimes, driven my primal instincts, tends to do some of the above things which well – to the orderly civilized world would be termed as “slightly rash” driving.

The real fun starts when I “need” to drive with my wife…..

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Timed Out!

“When will you pay the bills? Last weekend you said you will do later. One week is gone and you did nothing” – wifey said to the tired, seemingly overworked yours truly.

It has been a hectic week. I have always received feedback to improve my time management. But, how do you manage time? In fact, time always seems to have the upper hand – chasing / hunting me downIt seems to always keep running at a frantic pace, and I am somehow never able to cope up with it. I have tried planning my day many times, using the Outlook calendar to block my time to get the million (or so it seems) action items completed. But somehow, all my plans are put off by some event nor the other that happens during the day. In the office – I am usually frantically running around trying to accomplish the tasks for the day! My drive back home is almost always interrupted by a realization of task(s) I may have missed – “Oh shit! I forgot to send the update to Mr XXX”. I usually enter home after a hard day’s work, open up the laptop immediately to try and complete the things that I remembered during my drive back home.

If only time would stand still, for sometime and allow me to work at my own pace…

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MD 15 : The Doc Interrogation!

“Good morning, how are you feeling” – the doc said, smiling.

 Usually, I am in my worst mood when visiting docs. I absolutely HATE visiting them. Ever since I smashed my head when I was six years old (well, now you know why all the insanity comes from), and the doctors operated on me – I have developed a sort of phobia to visit them. Couple of months back, I was having this seemingly regular pain in my leg & joints – and after consistent pestering from wifey – I decided to pay a visit to the dreaded doc!

We had visited this doc several times in the past usually for my back pain. My visits to him would usually test his patience of tolerating my silly answers. He was a nice guy, never complaining – always asking questions with a smile on his face. His only problem – his questions were too many, at least that what it seemed to me! It was as though I have to go through this strict interrogation process – and I hated it!

It was Saturday afternoon. I prepared myself to be interrogated…. probed… examined…

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