What are your favorite ways to procrastinate?

How fitting is this? I have this post sitting in my drafts for almost a month now. I have been happily procrastinating a blog about procrastination. Like most of us, I am also heavily prone to procrastination. Especially on tasks that I do not like to do…

While all of us procrastinate to various degrees in all spheres of life, I will limit the scope of this post to household chores and nags requests that keep coming – just when you think you can sit down for a nice little “no work and blank out your mind” zone.

The most common syndromes…

The DO IT LATER Bugger

This syndrome is observed when one is asked to do things that he / she does not like to do. The “I’ll do it later” basically means that “I have no intention of doing it”, and please look at other alternatives. Sadly, it takes some time for the partner to figure out the REAL meaning – and can cause stress till the time the partner gives up (hopefully)

AN examplehttps://arindamunplugged.wordpress.com/2011/11/12/timed-out/

PROS: If your partner has figured out the real meaning, and is fine with it – you are the champion! You can get away from most of the nags!

CONS: Very high on guilt quotient – Near danger levels, since you made the commitment of doing it (without specifying the timeframe). Someday, you will have to DO IT! Till then, guilt rises with every reminder!

The Negotiator

This is observed when you try to negotiate your way out of doing the task you are being requested to do. Your success depends on your negotiation skills and your assertiveness. If nothing else, it helps reduce the priority, and procrastinate it till the time the task really DEMANDS attention

Example:

Wife: Ari, the pipe in the back porch is leaking. Can you get that fixed today?

Ari: Too much work today.. I saw the leakage, it just a small one.. And it is not imperative to fix it now.

Wife: Come on, everyday the porch looks unclean because of it. Also, it may cause seepage in the walls.

Ari: Don’t worry about it.. The rate at which water is leaking, it will take many years before seepage happens.

Wife: [Gritting teeth] Will you fix it or not?

Ari: My analysis shows there is still time till it needs my attention… so, don’t worry about it!

Wife: [Waves hand over her head, and gives me the “What do I do with you” look!!

PROS: No commitment, no expectations. One of the best mode of procrastination

CONS: Can be perceived as argumentative and cause severe stress (depending on mood & situation). Ensure you have backup options. Under severe cases, sleeping on the sofa also a possibility!

The Silent Assasin

It also works best for procrastination – if you can carry it off that is! If you can ignore a request and feign complete ignorance about it, you can “get away” without feeling guilty (lots of it, in my case) of having committed something, and not delivering on your commitment. This is mostly observed when you are asked to do a task that is required, but at the same time, quite distasteful. For e.g: Cleaning the toilet! I mean, I understand all tasks are important – but hey – I don’t think anyone will be queuing up to clean the toilet!

Here’s how our conversation ensues –

Me watching TV.

WIFE: Ari…

Me still watching TV

WIFE: Sweetheart- bit louder..

No response…

WIFE: Ari…

ME: “huh?”

WIFE: I have been trying to talk to you for nearly 5 minutes

ME: Oh, really.. Oh.. Ok. I didn’t hear you, what is it?

WIFE: Can you clean the toilet?

ME: [No response, just look at her with this “I seem to have trouble understanding the instructions” and stare back at the TV.

This cycle continues few more times till either you revert to the above two modes of operation.

PROS: No commitment, if you can pull it off!

CONS: Wifey gets terribly upset and your guilt quotient crosses the “DANGER” levels, and you end up doing it!!

Maybe there are more ways, but let’s park that for later.

What are your favorite ways to procrastinate?

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