What are your favorite ways to procrastinate?

How fitting is this? I have this post sitting in my drafts for almost a month now. I have been happily procrastinating a blog about procrastination. Like most of us, I am also heavily prone to procrastination. Especially on tasks that I do not like to do…

While all of us procrastinate to various degrees in all spheres of life, I will limit the scope of this post to household chores and nags requests that keep coming – just when you think you can sit down for a nice little “no work and blank out your mind” zone.

The most common syndromes…

The DO IT LATER Bugger

This syndrome is observed when one is asked to do things that he / she does not like to do. The “I’ll do it later” basically means that “I have no intention of doing it”, and please look at other alternatives. Sadly, it takes some time for the partner to figure out the REAL meaning – and can cause stress till the time the partner gives up (hopefully)

AN examplehttps://arindamunplugged.wordpress.com/2011/11/12/timed-out/

PROS: If your partner has figured out the real meaning, and is fine with it – you are the champion! You can get away from most of the nags!

CONS: Very high on guilt quotient – Near danger levels, since you made the commitment of doing it (without specifying the timeframe). Someday, you will have to DO IT! Till then, guilt rises with every reminder!

The Negotiator

This is observed when you try to negotiate your way out of doing the task you are being requested to do. Your success depends on your negotiation skills and your assertiveness. If nothing else, it helps reduce the priority, and procrastinate it till the time the task really DEMANDS attention

Example:

Wife: Ari, the pipe in the back porch is leaking. Can you get that fixed today?

Ari: Too much work today.. I saw the leakage, it just a small one.. And it is not imperative to fix it now.

Wife: Come on, everyday the porch looks unclean because of it. Also, it may cause seepage in the walls.

Ari: Don’t worry about it.. The rate at which water is leaking, it will take many years before seepage happens.

Wife: [Gritting teeth] Will you fix it or not?

Ari: My analysis shows there is still time till it needs my attention… so, don’t worry about it!

Wife: [Waves hand over her head, and gives me the “What do I do with you” look!!

PROS: No commitment, no expectations. One of the best mode of procrastination

CONS: Can be perceived as argumentative and cause severe stress (depending on mood & situation). Ensure you have backup options. Under severe cases, sleeping on the sofa also a possibility!

The Silent Assasin

It also works best for procrastination – if you can carry it off that is! If you can ignore a request and feign complete ignorance about it, you can “get away” without feeling guilty (lots of it, in my case) of having committed something, and not delivering on your commitment. This is mostly observed when you are asked to do a task that is required, but at the same time, quite distasteful. For e.g: Cleaning the toilet! I mean, I understand all tasks are important – but hey – I don’t think anyone will be queuing up to clean the toilet!

Here’s how our conversation ensues –

Me watching TV.

WIFE: Ari…

Me still watching TV

WIFE: Sweetheart- bit louder..

No response…

WIFE: Ari…

ME: “huh?”

WIFE: I have been trying to talk to you for nearly 5 minutes

ME: Oh, really.. Oh.. Ok. I didn’t hear you, what is it?

WIFE: Can you clean the toilet?

ME: [No response, just look at her with this “I seem to have trouble understanding the instructions” and stare back at the TV.

This cycle continues few more times till either you revert to the above two modes of operation.

PROS: No commitment, if you can pull it off!

CONS: Wifey gets terribly upset and your guilt quotient crosses the “DANGER” levels, and you end up doing it!!

Maybe there are more ways, but let’s park that for later.

What are your favorite ways to procrastinate?

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Thank you for the Awards!!

In the last couple of weeks, I have been fortunate to be given two awards. When I started writing this blog couple of months ago, I never knew how it would turn out! Whether, I would be able to sustain it – even write more than a week. I did not expect any comment or like when I started off. And now, oh boy! couple of awards. As a novice blogger, I could not have asked for more.

Versatile Blogger Award

Thank you Deeshrek for giving me this award. Most appreiated!

As per the rules, here are 7 random things about myself –

  1. The loud garrulous Ari today – yes, the Ari for whom the folks in office say – “The most noisy guy” – struggled to speak in his formative years. This continued till his teens when something someone changed me – forever!
  2. I am a big foodie – I love eating. I love non-veg food (somepeople  tag me as a carnivore). And yes, by the carnivore definition – I absolutely hate veg food.
  3. I hated chocolate flavor – chocolate flavored milk, chocolate ice cream… I had nothing to do with chocolate till I met my wife. Now, I am an avid chocolate eater.
  4. Inside the loud garrulous guy, still resides a shy, stupid, quiet person – the one that only few close friends and family know.
  5. I am very impatient. Doing the same thing for twice or thrice gets me bored.
  6. I am highly superstitious. This may not be news for folks reading my blog – but I can crack people up by talking about how external factors influence the outcome of our actions 🙂
  7. I think I have a split personality – the loud, action oriented guy in office, and the lazy, dont want to do any work guy at home! I am still trying to figure out when and how the transformation happens.

Pass the award to 7 other blogging friends – 

I think the folks that I really think deserve this award have already got it. So, I would request you to visit my blogroll – it has a good collection of blogs that I love to read – and I am sure they would interest you.

The Liebster Blog Award – 

Leibster is German and means ‘dearest’ or ‘beloved’ but it can also mean “favorite” and the idea of the Leibster award is to bring attention to blogs with less than 200 followers.

The Rules are:

  1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
  2. Reveal your top 5 picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
  3. Post the award on your blog.
  4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogsphere – other bloggers.
  5. And, best of all – have fun and spread the karma
Thanks to Miss D for giving me this award. Most appreciated!!
I would like to pass this award to the following blogs (I absolutely love them) –
Once again thank you DeeShrek and Miss D for the awards. It motivates me to write better, and continue to spread the love in this blogosphere!

AA 7 : No More!!

[All previous chapters of Awesome Anushka (AA) series – click here]

“Stop saying it so many times Ari..” – Anushka said.

The same hands that I was holding and kissing about 16 hours 20 minutes and 10 seconds ago were holding the ice cream that I had bought for us during tiffin break the next day. I had already thanked her five times (or maybe more, I don’t remember) for coming to my home yesterday. I had not told her about the trouble at home – not yet! I had tried hard last night to think of a master plan – but the grey cells in my head refused to provide any help, as is so often the case! I am sure that if I do an IQ test on me, I would be the bottom percentile. But hey! Somehow, I had Anushka. And somehow, the rest of the things – grades, IQ, KK sir, Vikram, Sam.. No-one seemed to matter anymore. All I cared about was her – being with her!

Is this love? Is this infatuation? Is this lust? Is this craziness? Am I being stupid? I didn’t know. I didn’t care.

Her sweet voice interrupted my thoughts, again!

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AA6 : The BAD boy

[All previous posts of Awesome Anushka (AA series) – click here]

I opened the door, to find Her Highness – my mother standing there. She had returned early from work that day. Mom had come in and was in a state of shock to find her son with a (girl) friend. We came from a conservative family – so it was obvious that bringing (girl) friends at home was NOT encouraged. Especially, with no prior information to Her Highness!

There was an uncomfortable few minutes of conversation before mom went inside. I gestured to Anushka to leave quickly. She got the hint, and left.

Everything in my system told me something miserable was going to happen. I was right!

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MD 22 : Dude from Planet of the Apes

IN the early 1990s, my father moved to Delhi, the capital of India. I had spent most of my life till then in a small town – Sindri in the state of Bihar (now Jharkhand). I thought of this move as being both good and bad – good because I would now be exposed to the charming city life – that would hopefully provide opportunities for growth. The not so good part, was my own fear – that everyone in the city would just be much more smarter than me, and I would soon become the “stupid ass from small town”

From my childhood, I had pictured myself in situations where I don’t belong, situations where people around me know more than me, and my skill level is not good enough for me to be part of that group. Thinking about such situations would send a shiver down my spine, and wake me up in the nights as if I just had a nightmare. Somehow, deep down inside me, I felt that in Delhi, I ran the risk of being “made fun of” – of being utterly and completely humiliated!

I was right!

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MD 21 : What’s in a name?

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.” – Juliet said.

Shakespeare was right! What’s in a name? I am sure I would have been just the same whacky, senseless moron – a pro at making largely pointless conversations – had my name been Rob or Harry or Sukhwinder or Ramanujan or Arunabha or George for all I care.

My mother considers such thoughts almost blasphemous! As per tradition in my family, my name was chosen based on a Yagna (or holy ceremony) that was conducted. Two names – Arindam & Angshuman were the top contenders (I have no idea how), and the purohit (the saint) based on the knowledge and divine power bestowed on him had suggested that Arindam was to be luckier for me – and hence I was chosen to be named Arindam.

If you think that sounds crazy, please join in! You will not be the only one, I tell you!

Anyway, my name gets me into trouble many times.. For starters, the Western world somehow cannot pronounce it too well. I have had to shorten my name to – Ari, whenever I travel to US or other western countries, and have had the fortune (or misfortune) of being called Harry throughout a client discussion (Harry is phonetically similar to Ari, and sounds more of a name to the Western world).

I have been asked – hey, what kind of a name is Ari. Do you know what it means?

Yes, I know the meaning of my name Arindam. I am not sure if Sally or Susan or George or Jack – all have a meaning associated – but my name has. And it was a conversation regarding my name that had got me into trouble in my first job interview.

So, here we go folks – Brace up!

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AA 5 : The Right Thing

[All previous chapters of Awesome Anushka – click here]

“I love you, I really… I mean.. Really do” – I looked into Anushka’s dreamy eyes, and blurted out.

We had gone out to a  restaurant. We were seated in front of each other in the 10th floor restaurant, looking down at the beautiful view.

“What? Are you nuts Ari… You are my BEST FRIEND… but I don’t see you that way. You know, I don’t want to get into love and all these things now.. I told you na… that we would be JUST FRIENDS.. Then, what is wrong with you?”

I felt like a knife had cut through me, shred me into pieces as I stood there listening to her. I did not want to live without her, anyway. What can I tell her now? Will we even stop being friends… I should not have done this, I should have kept my emotions in check.. Controlled myself.. Oh God! What now?

“I hate you, I don’t want to talk to you ever again…” Anushka said and walked away…

No.. No, don’t go away.. I will never do this again. I will be JUST FRIENDS… throughout my life. Don’t leave me…. Please…please Anushka!

I woke up, and sat in the bed… OH God.. Thankfully, it was a dream!! Correction – A nightmare!!

My head felt heavy, my heart ached – the thought of Anushka walking away… No.. No.. I cannot let that happen. Ever.

Sitting on the bed, that night, I had decided to do “The Right Thing”

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