“How do I look?” – asked my wife.
To all my male readers – how many times has your wife / GF asked you this question – “How do I look?” I think it is a close competitor to the other question – “Do you love me?”. (Which usually metamorphoses into various forms – “Do you STILL love me?”, “Will you love me forever?” or the usually catastrophic “Do you love someone else now?”)
I can almost see my male readers nodding their heads, while the female readers go – “You men will never understand!”
Anyway, “How do I look” syndrome is found at varying levels among women. At its most acute form, the following symptoms are observed –
Conversations are interrupted as she turns to the mirror now and then and looks at herself, brushes her hair or checks out if she STILL “looks slim”!
Traveling from one room to another is usually interspaced with pit-stops in front of the mirrors as she checks herself out and re-fuels her ego!
Correcting course… And back to where I left it – So, we were going to a small get-together among a group of my office friends. A dinner at a restaurant at 8 PM, chit chat about life, and back home – simple…
My wife had just completed an ELABORATE (don’t know how to represent it) dress selection exercise and put on a beautiful black dress. That’s when she asked me –
WIFE: “How do I look?”
ME: “Super!” (I said excitedly, hoping that my enthusiasm would make her happy and she would complete the rest of the “Dressing Up” process quickly.)
WIFE: Hmm, OK! (She didn’t seem happy with something, and returned to gazing at the mirror)
The “make up” chapter of the “Dressing Up” book was now going to start. I picked up the newspaper – 30 more minutes, or more! – I thought.
About 25 minutes later –
WIFE: “How do I look?” (She had completed her make-up, or so I thought!)
ME: “Super, now can we go?” (It was already 7:45 PM, and we had to meet up at 8 PM. Patience was running out!)
WIFE: That’s the same thing you said last time. You are not being earnest. Tell me, really, how do I look?
ME: (I didn’t care about being earnest. All I wanted was to get to the restaurant) – “Awesome! Astonishing! Fantabulous!” (I blurted out all the synonyms I could)
WIFE: Why do you seem upset? I only asked….
ME: (I cut her short) Are we done?
WIFE: Not yet, I have not applied my lip gloss, lip liner, and eye shadow!!
I needed something heavy to bang my head on – but couldn’t find anything!! The clock ticked on… My level of impatience rising exponentially as I flip flopped through the newspaper.
About 15 minutes later –
WIFE: “Now, how do I look?” (liners, glosses, shadows, paints, colors, maskaras – all seemed done!)
WIFE: Good, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! (Suddenly overcome by a sense of urgency)
About 10 minutes later –
I was driving. Unable to control herself, my wife had taken out a small mirror from her purse, and was checking her “whatever shadow or liner” out.
I don’t think I have looked at myself that much in a whole month!
ME: Come on! Everything is fine, don’t keep looking at yourself.
WIFE: (giving me the MIND YOUR BUSINESS, MISTER look) You men won’t understand!
That’s the “conversation killer” line! It basically means – stop talking, and DO whatever you are doing – I don’t want to talk with you right now! I took the hint, and focused on the road.
About 15 minutes later –
We had parked and got into the elevator to take us to the 3rd floor restaurant.
The panel at the side showed – Floor 0, Floor 1…
“How do I look?” – My wife asked, again!!
“Ravishing!!” – I said, as emphatically as I could. That seemed the only word I hadn’t used yet!
She let out a BIG smile, finally contented (for the day!!). The 3rd floor arrived and she strode out of the elevator and into the restaurant.
Women will be women!! – I thought to myself, and followed her in.
What’s that one question that you get asked time and again and again by your partner??