“Good morning, how are you feeling” – the doc said, smiling.
Usually, I am in my worst mood when visiting docs. I absolutely HATE visiting them. Ever since I smashed my head when I was six years old (well, now you know why all the insanity comes from), and the doctors operated on me – I have developed a sort of phobia to visit them. Couple of months back, I was having this seemingly regular pain in my leg & joints – and after consistent pestering from wifey – I decided to pay a visit to the dreaded doc!
We had visited this doc several times in the past usually for my back pain. My visits to him would usually test his patience of tolerating my silly answers. He was a nice guy, never complaining – always asking questions with a smile on his face. His only problem – his questions were too many, at least that what it seemed to me! It was as though I have to go through this strict interrogation process – and I hated it!
Wifey and I entered the docs cabin. The doc looked at us and smiled.
Following conversation ensued –
Doc: Good morning, how are you feeling?
ME: As good as you would let me be…. How about you?
Doc: (Paused a moment – he had been more accustomed to “Good” being the answer) Uh.. Yeah, good! So, where do you feel pain?
ME: In my leg – rather feet…
Doc: Well… what causes the pain?
ME: If I knew, I wont be here…
Doc: Well, I mean – any specific activity causes the pain?
ME: Yeah… well, everything.. Walking, running, jumping, talking, squatting..
Doc: Hmm (Rapidly scribbling notes)
ME: … and yeah, answering questions causes the most pain!
Wifey gives me the “PLEASE BEHAVE YOURSELF” look… I nod, but decide to ignore.
Doc: You seemed to have got up on the wrong side of the bed.. Huh? Ok, can you lie over there? (Pointing to the small bed in his room)
I obeyed! The doc came over, pulled my right feet up and started fiddling with his fingers
Doc: Do you feel the sensation?
ME: I feel you are tickling me, and I am not liking it one bit – why should that be sensation-al?
Doc: Please answer properly.
Doc continued pinching and tickling me various parts of my leg.. Finally asked me to get back to my seat.. Thankfully, the ordeal is over now – I thought!
Doc: (Irritated, but continues…) So, you work in IT?
Doc: Ah! There you go.. Sedate lifestyle.. Sitting and gazing at your laptop.. Do you exercise?
ME: No, I don’t. And well… Here’s the answers to the rest of your questions – I am a foodie, I hog like an elephant – ready to eat anything that moves – completely averse to VEG food, hate getting up in morning, and if you want me to do exercises – well… good luck to you! (I had been through this questioning drill a few times)
Doc continues to scribble away – relentlessly.
ME: And by the way, if you can prescribe me eating a box of ROSHOGOLLAS everyday and get my wife to agree to it as well, I am ready to do anything for you!
WIFE: ARIIIIIIIIIIIIII…. (my wife blurted out – the crap I had been saying obviously beyond her limits of patience now)
I turned to look at my wife’s pre-Rudra (angry) avataar (It is the time when any small action, if interpreted as adding to the cause of anger can lead to catastrophe) – I remembered my state after the Roshogolla Rage.
I had learnt my lesson. I behaved myself through the rest of the
conversation… interrogation… probing…examination.